Leila opened her eyes, slowly and reluctantly, as they were hit with streaks of sunshine coming through the large window. She blinked to adjust to the light of the room then rubbing the remaining sleep from them. The slight pull of an IV attached to the back of her hand brought her attention to the beeping machines surrounding her. She looked around to see she was in a hospital room before her memory started flooding back.

“Abel” She gasped, sitting up abruptly before yelling out at the sharp pain in her abdomen.

“Woah woah, easy there sweetheart.” Gemma  came in from the doorway followed by Jax.

“Abel.” She repeated, her voice strained by the pain.

“He’s alright babe, he’s just fine.” Jax nodded as the two approached the bed.

She leaned back, letting her body relax knowing he was okay. Lifting her eyes she looked at the two of them as Gemma rubbed her arm.

“I’m going to let the nurses know you’re up.” Gemma smiled, giving Jax a pointed look to apologize.

Leila nodded, watching her leave the room before looking back at Jax. They hadn’t been alone since she threw him out. Jax pulled a chair up to the bed, sitting beside her before trying to take her hand. She thought about pulling it away but the feeling of his touch provided much needed comfort.

“How long have I been out?” She asked, staring down at their laced fingers.

“Almost 3 days.” He answered, brushing the top of her hand with his thumb. “We were so worried you weren’t going to pull through.”

“And Stahl? Is she in custody?”

Jax looked at her confused for a moment before shaking his head. “No, babe. She’s dead. Somehow you shot her in the chest before passing out from the blood loss.”

“I -” She stared at him wide eyed. “I killed her?”

“In self defense, Lei. In Abel’s defense. She got what she had coming.”

“Jesus Christ.” She leaned her head back, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Stahl did get what she had coming. She had brought nothing but destruction and chaos to anyone who crossed her path. There were many nights that Leila laid in bed wishing for Stahl’s death but never once did she think it would be on her hands.

“Lei,” Jax brought her attention back to him, his eyes filling with unshed tears. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost you.”

“You would’ve lived your life with Tara just as you have been.” She looked away.

He looked hurt at her reply. “Lei, I would give anything to take it all back. It was a mistake. I told her that to. I love you Leila. Only you. And I’m so so sorry for all of this, but you gotta believe me babe. You’re it for me.”

A part of her wanted to push him away. Tell him to fuck himself and run back to Tara. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet. The pain he’d caused her was deeper than anything she’d ever felt. Even this didn’t compare.

Yet there was another part of her wanted to start over. She missed him. The sound of his voice. The feel of his hands. His smell. Their life. Everything. She could see the sorrow and regret in his eyes.

Could she really let it go?

Letting it go would mean working towards their family again. Trust would take time but it’d be worth it to be able to raise Abel not letting go would mean losing the both of them. Once Abel was out, she wouldn’t be able to see him anymore. Jax would probably end up with Tara and she would play mommy. Who knew what their life would turn out like but it didn’t seem promising.

She sighed, giving his hand a squeeze and he looked up at her. “We’ll -”

The door opened again and Gemma walked in followed by one of the nurses.

“Look who’s finally up.” The older nurse smiled.

Leila shot Jax a soft smile before turning her attention towards the nurse. The woman checked the monitors before pulling her sheets back.

“A little privacy?” She looked between Jax and Gemma.

Jax stood but Gemma didn’t budge. “Just do your job, lady.”

Her glare made the nurse look back down at Leila. She lifted her gown over her panties to her abdomen before carefully peeling the bandages. She winced at the feel of tape being pulled off of her but Jax was back at her side holding her hand as he peeked over to see the stitching.

“Looks like you’re healing just fine.” The nurse nodded. “I’ll have the doctor review your charts. We might keep you a few more days for observation but you’ll be just fine darling. Can I bring you anything?”

“Water. Please.” Leila asked as the nurse walked out. “When can I see Abel?”

Jax looked at Gemma then her. A warm smile on his face. “Let’s see what the doctor says then we’ll see if we can take you down.”

Leila nodded as the nurse left the room. Gemma walked to the other side of her and taking her hand.

“Words can’t begin to explain how grateful I am that you pulled through.” The older woman’s eyes starting to tear. “What you did for this club – what you did for my grandson – I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to repay you.”

Her lips curved into a smile, shocked by the woman’s soft approach despite her hard exterior. “You’ll never have to repay me. Stahl got what she deserved. I’m sorry she put you through all of that.”

“Ma, why don’t you call the guys. Let them know she’s okay.” Jax nodded his head for his mother to leave.

Catching the hint, Gemma nodded and walked outside, leaving the two of them alone again.

“I can’t believe I killed someone. Stahl none the less.” She sighed. “I’d pictured her death countless times, Jax, but to actually be the one to end her life – that’s heavy shit.”

“Don’t think about it babe.” He shook his head. “All that matters is that you’re okay. Stahl knew how going into that room would end. Whether it was you or the cops – she wasn’t coming out alive.”

“I know.” She nodded, “It’s all over now.”

---

 

Jax sat in Leila room as she slept. They’d given her more morphine for the pain even though she was dead set on getting out. He could see her mind going back to the realization that she had killed someone. It had gotten to her more than expected. It just showed how much of his humanity he had lost. It made him forget how big of a deal it actually was to take someone’s life. This was why he needed her. She kept him grounded. Showed him that despite all the bad shit he had done, he was still a good man.

He’d lost faith in that when he hurt her. All the people he had killed, all the people he had hurt, all the shit he’d done for the club – none of that effected him nearly as much as the look on her face the day he walked into the clubhouse with Tara. He had never truly seen himself as a monster until he hurt the person with the purest soul he’d ever met.

He would make it up to her. He swore to himself that he would. Leila deserved a model Old Man and that’s what he would be. The club would understand. They loved Leila like one of their own and with the shit she’d pulled for them, they owed her big.

“Jax?” Her sleepy tone caught his attention as she slowly turned her head to face him.

He smiled, leaning forward with his elbows on the bed. “Hey beautiful.”

“I want to go home.” She whispered, taking his hand in hers.

“Just a few more days babe.” He ran his free hand through her hair.

“Then we can bring Abel home too?”

Her soft sleepy tone brought a smile to his face but her words melted his heart. She wanted to go home together. Give him another shot.

“Yeah baby, Abel will come home too.”

She smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’ve missed you, Jax. You really hurt me and I still couldn’t help but miss you every second of every day.”

“I know Lei. I’m so sorry but I will spend every second of every day for the rest of our lives making this up to you.”

He had hope in his eyes. This was the first time he’d been able to sit and talk to her since it all happened. All that time being without her really got to him. It made him realize just how much of a difference one person can make in your life. Since he was a kid he thought that person was Tara. He thought she was the love of his life. His one chance at true happiness, but he was wrong. It was Leila the whole time.

“You have no idea how much you and Abel mean to me.” She smiled pulling him closer for a kiss. “I love you, babe.”

“And you have no idea how much we love you.” He smiled, his hand on her cheek as he leaned over her.

“We should throw him a homecoming party. Everyone would be invited. They haven’t been able to meet him yet. What do you think?”

Jax laughed lightly at her excitement. “You’ll both still need your rest.”

“I’ve had enough rest and so has Abel. Poor kid needs something other than machines. I’ll have Charlotte set it up.” She leaned her bed up to face him.

“Alright babe. It’ll be good for the club to regroup, especially after everything that happened.” He nodded. “Thank you.”

She bit her lip unable to stop her lips from smiling as she reached for her phone. “I can’t wait!”

---

 

Charlotte had brought over some clean clothes for Leila to get into. There was no way she was going to be in that gown the whole time. Instead she opted for a pair of skinny leg sweatpants, a t-shirt and a cardigan to throw over. The nurses still had to help her change but it was worth it to be in her own things. She’d gotten the chance to wash her face and comb her hair which allowed her to feel more like herself than she had in days.

She’d sent Jax home for a shower and some clean clothes as well. He hadn’t let her side the whole time. The club had popped in for visits but all in all she was just looking to be able to go see Abel. Though she had planned to go down there with Jax,  she couldn’t wait any longer and had the nurses wheel her down, two security guards following closely behind.

“Here you go.” Sarah smiled, gently handing her the newborn.

Leila cradled him in her arms. Her fingers brushing against the soft skin on his cheek. There was not a mark on him. He was perfectly okay. She felt a shiver down her spine at the thought of Stahl doing anything to her son. Just having the agent  touch his blanket brought something fierce out of her. But here he was, safe and sound and he’d be able to come home soon.

“When can we take him home?” She looked back up at the nurse.

“You can check him out whenever you get cleared to go. Abel’s doing great. His stomach is healing perfectly. His heart is beating fine. He’s a strong little man.”

“I know he is.” She smiled, looking down at him. “God, I can’t believe I’m the one delaying his release. I feel so bad.”

“Oh honey, you probably saved his life. The last thing you should do is feel bad.” Sarah placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before leaving the room to give them some privacy.

“We’ll be home soon, baby.” She whispered. “You, me, and your daddy. We’ll make this work. I promise.You’re too young to have been through this much.” She brushed his hair back. “But I swear to you, you’ll have the world growing up.”

“Knock knock.” Jax opened the door behind her. “Something told me you’d be down here.”

Leila laughed looking back down at Abel. “You knew better than to expect me to wait, Teller.”

“I know, I know.” He laughed.

She handed him the baby carefully, watching as he held him against his chest. Being a daddy suited him. As scared as they both were, she knew they’d make good parents.
“What?” He asked, noticing her staring.

“Just admiring, is all.” She smiled. “They said we could bring him home as soon as they release me. I can’t believe all of this is really over. ”

“No,” He shook his head, not taking his eyes away from his son. “It’s hard to believe how far we’ve come. How face he’s come. I never thought he’d make it but you never lost faith in either of us.”

“I’m glad I never did.” She placed a hand on his knee leaning her head on his shoulder.