The sky was dark. Grey – ridden with clouds. The leaves on trees fluttering left and right vigorously with the wind. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise while goosebumps overtook his skin as he looked over the field full of unmarked graves dug in the dirt.. A breeze blew loose wisps of hair into his eyes, moving it behind his ears, he spotted Abel and Thomas sitting next to one in particular. The only one with a tombstone. Thomas played with the dirt while Abel looked out at the graves with eyes full of sadness and confusion. Jax slowly stepped closer, his eyes focusing in on the words etched into the headstone. Tara Grace Knowles – Devoted Wife & Mother. He turned to Abel whose eyes were still staring out at the countless mounds of dirt. The young boy turned to him, his finger pointing out at the field.
“Was this you daddy?”
His eyes flickered open, slowly and reluctantly. Tears welled up, sliding down the sides of his face. Jax stared blankly at ceiling trying to get the images out of his head. Grabbing the bottle on his nightstand he took a large swig before sitting up slowly. He glanced at the clock, already an hour late but it didn’t make him move any faster. With each blink, his nightmare replayed in his head. Thomas’s face tear stricken. Abel’s full of fear. He’d made the right choice letting them go with Nero and Wendy. Who would’ve thought the two ex junkies would’ve been better for the boys?
He dragged himself out of bed to throw on his jeans and a t-shirt, before heading out the door. He knew Aubrey would rip him a new one, but all he could do was pray for mercy. He was reaching his breaking point with her, though it was all out of habit. He knew he was always late. He knew he constantly fucked up. But he hadn’t had a real job. Gemma was his boss when he worked at TM and he could do whatever he wanted. All this scolding was getting to the highest point on his nerves.
“Teller!”
He heard her irate voice yell from across the lot as soon as his truck pulled in. He pulled into a parking spot and laid his head onto the steering wheel, banging it a few times as he let out a heavy sigh. Guess mercy was out of the question. He stepped out of the truck to see her near the building door, hands on her small hips, her eyes focused in on her target – a look so sharp, so stern, it reminded him instantly of Gemma.
“My office, now!”
She walked back inside and he followed, slowly. The more he could prolong this chat the more he could prolong the worsening of his already pounding headache. He made his way in and she shut the door behind them, crossing her arms over her chest. Stepping closer, her nose scrunched as she sniffed him.
“Have you been drinking?”
“No.” He lied.
” So help me god, Teller, if I find out you drink before work …”
“Knock knock” Andy gave a knock on the door before stepping in and Jax took a sigh of relief. Aubrey was always softer when Andy was around. Maybe God didn’t hate him after all. Andy took a seat at his desk, waiting intently for Aubrey to go on.
“I don’t know what to do with you, Jackson! I schedule you for the early shifts- you’re late. I move you to the late shifts – you’re even later! This isn’t okay. It’s sloppy and unprofessional. If this happens again, you’re out of here. Get changed and get to work. You’ll be stayin’ late tonight.”
Both men watched as she left the room, turning to look at eachother. Jax winced at being called Jackson. He’d rarely ever been called that and it was usually only by his mother. Andy gave him a nonchalant shrug and smile before standing up to pat him on the shoulder. It could’ve gone worse. Who knows what would’ve gone down if she’d continued on about his drinking. She was just lucky that southern accent of her’s made it a pleasure to listen to. Andy’s interruption had been a life saver and the man knew that. Walking around the desk, he threw an arm over Jax’s shoulder as they walked out the door.
“Looks like you got a long night ahead of you, boy.”
“Tell me about it..”
The two spread out after getting to work. Jax slipped on his work coveralls and went to work with Jim. Regardless of how he’d continuously shown that he knew his way around cars, Aubrey insisted he was a loose cannon and had Jim keep eyes on him. He looked across the pavement to see her talking to a customer. The steel look on her face that he’s gotten so accustomed to, had disappeared – replaced by that mesmerizing smile that was seldom thrown his his direction. He envied those people. The ones who often got this side of Aubrey. He’d been on the receiving end a few scattered times like the weekend that had passed, but it was rare that she’d act that way at work.
The rough cough of the older man clearing his throat turned Jax’s attention. He saw Jim struggling to tighten a bolt and kneeled down to help. He had a long day ahead of him. Aubrey planned on keeping him in most of the night to clean up like she did every time he was late. He might as well be productive.
The break room was empty by the time Aubrey let Jax take lunch. She had a way of being cruel with her punishments. It wasn’t straight up writing a warning or firing people. She would make sure they were the last lunch break or she’d have them stay past close to mop and clean the office area, organize the work stations, etc. He was starving but she was only giving him a half hour to make up for his lost time so he didn’t even have a chance to grab something from the cafe like he usually did.
He looked through the vending machine, his eyes scrolling through the chips and chocolate, he’d have one of everything if he could but the thought made him nauseous, instead he made the safe choice of plain potato chips and a bottle of water. He sat down to eat and looked out the window looking into a small part of the work area. Everyone was keeping busy, he assumed they’d already learned their lesson about messing with Aubrey.
“There you are!”
Andy’s voice came through the door as the large man entered the room. He took a seat next to Jax, placing a brown paper bag onto the table and pushing it over to him. Jax smiled with confusion as he looked at the bag then at his boss.
“What’s this?”
“I got you lunch. Jenny said this was your usual.”
His eyes widened as did his smile. He had literally gone out of his way to get him lunch. He opened the bag to see his all american burger with a side of fries. Jenny was usually the one who waited on him but with the amount of customers she had daily, it amazed him that she remembered, though not as much as it amazed him that Andy had gone out to get him food. He pushed his chips aside and pulled the burger out of the wrapping paper before giving Andy a grateful smile.
“Damn, you didn’t have to do that.”
“Nonsense, you know she’ll be working you to the bone tonight. Eat up while you can.”
Jax laughed before taking a bite of his burger. Couldn’t argue with that logic. Aubrey was in one hell of a mood today and the last thing he needed was to pass out while working. He needed this job, especially after buying a home out here. Since this was the only auto body shop in Maple Hill, he’d have to play nice.
“Is she always going to be this way?”
“Not if you start coming in on time.” The older man laughed.
“Does it bother you as much as it does her?”
“I see something in you, son. If you hadn’t already noticed. Misery. Grief. It shows in your eyes with every breath you take. Its the same look I’d see in myself every time i crossed a mirror when Anna left. Now, I ain’t gonna force you to talk about anything. But in the state i was in – i needed people to take it easy on me. And that’s what I’m doing for you. Aubrey’s the opposite. Hard as a rock. She puts on a brave face and deals with things head on. No moping, no crying. Men like us – we need that. Someone who’s going to kick our asses back in shape. Aubrey sees it in you too. But she’s handling it the only way she knows how.”
Jax blinked slowly, unable to move as he heard his words. Was he that obvious? So far he’d been proud of how he was handling himself but now he wondered who else could see. He knew he could relate to Andy but for him to so openly see through him only scared him. He lowered his eyes, staring at his food unsure of what to say but he was grateful Andy wasn’t looking for any sort of explanation. Apparently neither was Aubrey. Had they talked about him? Probably. Seeing as Aubrey was continuously on the verge of firing him. Yet it gave him comfort to think she was so hard on him because she cared.
He’d always thought he was independant – a leader – and in many ways he was. To the club. To his family. He demanded respect from anyone he came across. After losing both Tara and Gemma, he realized that Andy was right. He was the type of man to need a woman. Someone to be his rock at the end of the day. To listen and to guide him. Now that he was missing that rock – his life was meaningless. No direction. No purpose. In many ways he envied Andy’s relationship with Aubrey. He had a second chance. But Andy deserved it. Jax didn’t.
“There’s that look again.” The older man interrupted his thoughts.
“I just – I’m – I -”
“It’s alright now. Whenever and if ever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen. Eat up – It’ll be one hell of a long night for you.”
Andy stood, patting Jax on the back and leaving him with his thoughts. There was so much more to that man than people have him credit for. He was good at reading people. Read Jax like a book. But as close as he was getting with Andy, the thought of ever speaking to an outsider about the monstrosity of the club made him sick to his stomach.
Closing time came and everyone was heading home, all of them giving Jax a pat on the back as they left. He’d gotten pretty comfortable around them. A few off then reminding him of the characters back home. Personality wise, these men were similar to his brothers – only difference was that they hadn’t taken lives. They wholesome guys. All ranging between the ages of 20 to the oldest one being 70. Most had families. Others had long time girlfriends. Jax was one of the only single men. They’d joke about taking him out on the town, finding him a nice southern girl. He’d laugh along but he’d always change the subject. It didn’t interest him at all.
“Jax, make sure the front gate is locked. ”
He heard Aubrey say from behind the front desk. Her voice was softer than earlier today. She was tired but still kept busy. Organizing the paperwork for the next day. He did as he was told, hopefully she’d let him out for good behavior – just like prison. He walked slowly, lighting a cigarette on the way. Silently praying she’d stay busy enough to let him smoke it peacefully.
The night was warm with the dark sky clear of any clouds. He could see all the stars. How bright they were shining. He’d never had the chance to stop and just look at them. Tara would always tell him to take a minute each day and just look around. Not out of paranoia or fear, out of pure curiosity of the life surrounding him. The stars were her favorite thing, ever since she was in high school. He’d never bothered to pay them any mind then but he could see now why she loved the night sky so much.
“Beautiful ain’t it?”
He looked down to see Aubrey next to him, and folded over her chest as she looked up with the same admiration as him. He could see the sky mirrored in her blue eyes. The stars were glimmering within them. He took a pull from his cigarette, keeping his eyes locked on her and nodded.
“Sure is.”
She lowered her gaze to see him looking at her, his eyes staring into her. Staring right through her. It wasn’t a look she’d seen thrown her way before. She’d had her fair share of men hitting on her, working at the garage made it an everyday occurrence but his stare was different. He wasn’t looking at her chest or her ass, he was looking at her. She bit her lip softly, staring down at the ground before clearing her throat.
“Get back to work, Jackson.”
She looked at him one last time before turning her back to walk inside.