Please be sure to read Author Notes: Bad Intentions Disclaimer before continuing to read this story.
It felt like the wind was knocked out of me. My father? I hadn’t had any contact or my father since I was a baby. My mom has taken me away when I was 3 but she refused to tell me the story as to why. Never even told me where she took me from. I always assumed a different part of New York, maybe Boston but damn. The other side of the country? I knew nothing about this man. Only that he had set us up for failure. My mom was broke when she came here. Not once did he try to talk to me, or even send her any money. No, we had to make it on our own. The only thing I can still remember about him are his eyes. They were so distinctive. Bright green with flecks of gold in the center, contrasted by thick black lashes. They had been burned into my memory, a constant reminder of that missing part of my life whenever I looked into the mirror at my own.
Other than that, all I know is that he’s a bad guy. She never spoke about him but whenever I do something wrong, the first thing she points out is that I’m just like my father. She says that when she caught me fighting, when I got my first tattoo against her wishes, when she caught me selling. I’m just like my father she’d scream out. That she didn’t pull me away so I can end up just like him.
“My father?” I croaked out after finally finding my voice. “Why the fuck would you call him? He hasn’t done anything for us in over twenty years, all of a sudden he’s going to care?”
“He’ll know what to do Allie. He’ll keep us safe.”
I scoffed. Safe. He hadn’t given a flying fuck how safe we were all these years.
It went quiet for a while. Neither one of us knew where to start with this conversation but it was going to be a long two days and clearly we would need cash and and snacks. After about an hour on the highway, I pulled over onto one of the highway rest stops. We were still close to the city so it was pretty well lit, full of tourists and a few sketchy looking people but for the most part, everything was okay. I walked out of the car and out of the corner of my eye, I see mom looking at me but said nothing until we got inside to the restroom. After taking a moment to make sure it was empty, she walked up to me, taking them off and wincing for me.
“Jesus christ.” she muttered under her breath. Her hand reached up to touch my cheek but she quickly pulled it away placed my glasses back on my face as gently as she could and just like that her face turned hard as stone. She looked focused, like there was a sense of purpose to her that had been missing all those years.
“Alright.” She nodded after washing her face in the sink and patting it dry with some paper towels. “I can’t use my account, it’s linked to Leo. We need to empty yours out. Checking and savings. We’ll open another one once we get to Cali and get this all figured out. We’ll grab food for the road, you’ll drive until you feel like you’re about to fall asleep then we’ll switch. Once we get to Illinois, your father’s friends will switch your plates so we won’t be traced.”
All I could do was nod. I’ve never seen her like this. It was like she knew exactly what to do. To be honest, I hadn’t figured out much of my plan after just “riding off into the sunset.” but I’m glad she did.
I still don’t know how I did it, but I managed to keep driving for over 8 hours, straight. I wanted mom to sleep as much as she could. I could tell she was exhausted in all senses of the word. I can’t imagine this is what she saw doing when she woke up this morning but it happened. I knew this was all my fault but he pushed me to my limits. I couldn’t like that any longer and she didn’t deserve any of that either.
This entire ride had been an emotional roller coaster. Half the drive I was trying to control my anxiety, I’d already gone through half my pack of cigarettes and there was still over thirty hours to go. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that we’re driving towards my dad. My real dad. I couldn’t say I was excited. I always had the occasional thoughts of meeting him. Of going out to find him and having a relationship. But not under these circumstances and not after this long. Those were thoughts I had back in my teens. Things wouldn’t go well with mom and I’d dream of running off to my dad and living how I wanted but not now. Not after him missing for over twenty-two years. Not at this point. I’m still in shock that he was the first person she thought to call. Had they been talking for long?
I couldn’t keep driving anymore. It’s 5:30 in the morning by this time and I realized I’d been driving all night. My eyes were getting dangerously low so as soon as I found another tourist rest stop area, I pulled over. After nudging my mom awake, I stepped out of the car to stretch out my legs. The stiffness in my back matched the stiffness I felt in my neck and on my face. I hadn’t looked in the mirror since we left New York but I could only imagine how I looked.
“Where are we?” Mom’s groggy voice came from the car.
“Toledo.”
“Ohio? Why didn’t you stop to switch?”
“Because I wasn’t about to stop somewhere in the middle of the night. We gotta fill the tank. Where are these escorts meeting us?”
“Rest stop in Princeton. It’s another five hours to there. Let’s just freshen up and we’ll go.”
After using the bathroom, I immediately put my glasses back on. I looked like death. The bruising on my cheek was dark purple in the middle with a larger ring of blue around it, looking nasty as ever. My black v-neck didn’t hide the fingerprints around my neck much but I couldn’t do anything about that. Mom paid for the gas and breakfast while I filled the car and got into the passenger’s side. Being able to lay down felt so good. It wasn’t as comfortable as a bed but for right now, this felt like heaven. As soon as my head hit the headrest, I was out
By eleven we were at another rest stop, mom had talked to someone on the phone and let me know our escorts were on the way. I decided enough was enough. I could avoid everyone looking at me at night but during the day people were bound to notice. I grabbed my makeup bag from my dufflel and washed my face before applying some foundation and bronzer. As much as I tried to conceal the brushing, none of it helped.
I sighed as I examined my face in the mirror. I was worn and tired but the fresh eyeliner and mascara at least brightened my eyes. My father’s eyes. The ones I’d be seeing again soon. By early mid-day tomorrow, I be in front of my dad. Ugh. I needed a blunt.
I walked back out to my car. Mom was still inside grabbing food and a few snacks so I took the chance to sit on the hood of the car and light it up. Taking a deep inhale, I laid back against my windshield and blew out little smoke circles into the air.
“We’re definitely not in Kansas anymore.”
I mumbled to myself upon looking out at the road. There was no life other than one or two passing cars followed by the sound of motorcycles. My eyes followed them as they approached the lot. Two sexy ass men riding two sexy ass Harleys. Hmm. I could help but admire their form. Both had on leather vests. Hollow Readers MC read the top, Illinois was on the bottom. A large skull with two machine guns crossed like an X under it. I cocked my eyebrows as I watched them talk amongst themselves while they looked over at me and the car.
“Yup. Definitely not in Kansas anymore.”
One blonde haired, one brown. Both looked to be in their early thirties. I knew I was in no position to check them out while I’m technically on the run but hey I think it’s well deserved. I’ve always a passionate believer that life is about mind and body. In other words, be smart as fuck and have sex as often as possible. That’s the key to a long and happy life and these two right here were definitely my type. Sexy and accessible with no strings attached. I was never one for relationships. I never found a need. Mostly because the ones that grew up around all turned to shit. Much like this one for example. One giant pile of shit.
The two approached me, smirking and cocky in demeanor, so I sat up, bending my leg so that my foot rested on the hood of my car, knife in my boot easily accessible. Not that I thought they’d rob me in broad daylight but with the way my day was going, I couldn’t be too careful.
“What can I help you boys with?”
I asked. Their eyes were wandering around my car before one of them spoke up.
“I’m Crash.” The blonde one introduced himself. “This is Ax. We’re here to make sure you have a safe drive. We’ll follow you to through to Omaha.”
Okay, so these are the escorts? I hadn’t missed the guns on their wristbands but bikers weren’t what I expected but I wasn’t against it at all.
“I’m Allie.” I smiled offering the joint to Crash. “No one told me our personal escorts would be looking as good as you two though. Can’t say that I mind.”
Ax chuckled as he took his hit from the blunt and passed it back to me. Just before he could speak up I heard my mother’s voice almost screeching.
“Allison Parker get that shit out of your mouth right now. Are you out of your mind?”
I laughed lightly as I stubbed it out against the bottom of my shoe before tucking it back into my cigarette box. Mom’s eyes looked over the two men in front of me and a look of comfort swept across her face. Did she know these guys?
“Duke sent you?” She asked, putting the McDonald’s and convenience store bag in the car.
“Yeah. I’m Ax, that’s Crash. We got the plates and we’ll ride down towards Omaha with you before others take over.”
“Thank you so much.” She nodded.
Ax nodded his head and I watched him walk to the bike and grab some plates out of his saddlebag. Crash worked on removing my current plates and switching them out. I took a sip of my red bull as I watched them. As illegal as this was they were so discreet about it. This was clearly not the first time.
“So these your birth names?”
I asked, keeping the mood light. Mom talked on the phone she’d picked up at the last stop. Got me one too. She called them burners and said they were safer to use. Untraceable. It was starting to get scary how much she knew about this.
“Ax is mine.” The brown haired giant nodded. “Short for Axel.”
“And how’d you get Crash as your nickname?”
“You crash your bike once and these motherfuckers never let you live it down.” The blonde muttered under his breath.
Axel and I laughed at his obvious frustration towards the subject. Completely forgetting my situation, I lifted my sunglasses up to scratch my eye when I noticed them both looking at me in anger and concern.
“You’re man do that to you?”
Crash pointed at me. Ax’s face was darker, like he was angry about it. I lowered my sunglasses back on my face and shook my head.
“No..”
Mom came back and noticed the tense looks going around and cleared her throat.
“I let Duke know you guys are here.Let’s get going.”
As we got back in the car, Crash and Ax climbed their bikes and followed us out onto the open road. Mom was tired, I could see that, but so was I. For the last day I’d been relying on energy drinks and coffee. I watched as she got comfortable to go back to sleep but I needed answers at this point. We had bikers driving with us and they were linked to my dad. She mentioned the name Duke, was he my dad?
“Ma, I’m going to need some answers here. “
I heard her inhale deeply before turning to face me again. I could see the words turning in her head as she thought about how to acknowledge the situation. I’d see that look way too many times from her. She was again unsure of herself.
“What do you want to know?”
I looked at her stunned for a moment. Uhm everything? I’d like to know everything. I think I deserve it. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Is Duke my dad?”
“Yes.” She answered, her voice almost cautious. “Duke Kennedy is your father.”
Duke Kennedy. Kennedy. That bastard hadn’t even given me his last name? I could feel the anger I had towards him bubbling up to the surface and stayed quiet for a minute before thinking about my next question.
“And who is he?”
“What do you mean?” She asked, genuinely confused. At this point even her confusion pissed me off.
“Who is he, Ma? We’re being followed by bikers who are going to accompany us all the way across the country. What do they have to do with Duke?”
It was her turn to keep quiet. I watched her think about how to answer me before she spit it out.
“Your dad is the President of the Hollow Reapers motorcycle club in Palo Alto, California. It’s their mother charter. All these guys answer to him. He’s not a good man, honey but he’ll keep us safe.”
What? How do I even process that? I looked out at Crash and Ax and I knew that there was way more to this than some bike enthusiasts who got together for a drink every now and then. These men were different. They were hardened and dangerous, but Vivian insisted they were safe. She clearly wasn’t exactly the best judge of character but so far these two hadn’t done anything wrong.
“I think now is a good time for you to tell me why you left him to begin with. It’s time I heard the truth, Ma. All of it.”
The color seemed to flush from her face but she wasn’t looking at me. Her eyes were fixated on the road. She opened her mouth to speak a couple of times but nothing came out before she finally turned to face me, eyes full of unsteady tears that threatened to fall.
“I never wanted to leave your father, but I had to. I had to leave for your safety, honey. Back then the club was in a serious war with another club. People were getting taken left and right. Some murdered in cold blood right in front of us. The president of that club knew your father had us. God..” She stopped to catch her breath, tears now streaming down her face. “ They threatened to do some horrible things to you and I…” She paused again, it was like she was reliving all of it over again. “We made the decision to get you out. We couldn’t have any contact, baby. It was the hardest thing I had to do but I did it. I packed up our things and left. Flew across the country and never looked back. The money we had ran out quickly. New York was a lot more expensive than planned and I could only get so good of a job with no experience and a GED. Old Lady isn’t much of a title outside of the club. We did what we thought was best.”
Jesus Christ. That was not what I expected. All the stories I had imagined in my head started off with them having a blowout fight but this. This was worse. Mom loved the guy. He loved me at one point. Did that make me any less angry with him? No. Not a chance in hell that that excuses a twenty-two year absence from our lives. The things we’d been through. The shit we’ve had to put up with. Not a single phone call just to check if we were okay. Nothing.
I could hear her sobbing softly as she turned to face the window. This was hard for her. Maybe she was okay with all of this. Happy to be reunited with him, but I sure as fuck wasn’t. He wasn’t there to see her good through some of the most trying times in her life. He wasn’t there when she was getting beaten senseless. When I had to fend guys off and clean her up. No. He wasn’t and I’d be damned if I let him in now.